In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get theirs. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned.
However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all theirs.
You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.So just try this.
1.Set Limits (Especially with Complainers):Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.
You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.
2.Rise Above:Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behavior truly goes against reason. So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?
The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.
3.Know what doesn’t work. Some things work better for certain types of people, while others won’t. It may take some trial and error to figure out what is and is not going to work with the impossible person. It is also possible that there is nothing you can do to make dealing with her easier most of the time.
Avoiding clinging types will only make them try harder. However, rejecting them openly can turn them into an enemy. If you remain aloof, then their feelings get hurt.
For a controlling type, you can’t prove that you are right and he is wrong. She always has to be right no matter what, and doing a better job won’t help get critical perfectionists off your back.
4. Find out what works. You can work with certain personality types to help deal with the negative aspects. Use their strengths to help solve conflict and interrelationship stress and downplay weaknesses. Dealing with some personalities this way may produce very positive outcomes.
IF NOTHING WORKS OUT THEN JUST
Part ways. Eventually, you will need to separate yourself from an impossible person. Even if she is a family member, you will probably need to leave at some point. A long-term relationship with an impossible person is not healthy. Remove the person from your life as soon as you can.
Stay away after you leave the impossible person. No matter how much you love the person or if she tries to convince you she has changed, don’t go back.
If you can't leave or make the impossible person leave right now, then leave the relationship mentally until you can do it physically.
Severing your relationship with an impossible person can be painful in the beginning but will be liberating once you can move past old habits.
No comments:
Post a Comment